Patience
Tanveer Hussain, PhD
Patience has been explained as the ability to: endure hardship, difficulty, or inconvenience without being negatively reactive; show calmness, self-control, and willingness to tolerate delay; sit back and wait for an expected outcome without experiencing anxiety, tension, or frustration; let go the need for immediate gratification; display tolerance, compassion, and understanding toward those who are slower in developing maturity or understanding; and feel relaxed, calm, and placid in the face of challenges.
The Arabic word for ‘patience’ is ‘sabr’. The primary signification of the word ‘sabr’ is ‘(self)-restraint’ but it also signifies forbearance, composure, equanimity, steadfastness, perseverance, and endurance.
“The patience of man, which is right and laudable and worthy of the name of virtue, is understood to be that by which we tolerate evil things with an even mind, that we may not with a mind uneven desert good things, through which we may arrive at better.”
When we are impatient, we feel irritated, agitated, frustrated, resentful, anxious, tense, over stressed, dissatisfied, upset, angry or ill tempered. By being impatient, we can: run the risk of being dissatisfied and upset; easily lose our control and fire off outbursts of anger; discard relationships, people, jobs, and school whenever things are not working out as quickly as we want them to; waste energy worrying about how slow things are changing instead of directing that energy towards the changes we desire; and withdraw prematurely from a good work because we are not seeing an immediate pay off for our efforts.
“Impatience is said to breed anxiety, fear and discouragement; all of which make us a failure. On the other hand, patience transforms us into a confident, decisive and a rational being. Impatience can be the root of many a predicament. It may incite us to make hasty decisions, draw wrong assumptions and do the wrong things, ultimately landing us in trouble. ”
According to Dr. Friedman, “impatience” is one of the cardinal features of Type-A personality, some of the common symptoms of which are: eating fast and leaving the dining table immediately; to be often told to be slow, take it easy and become less tense; to be bothered a lot to wait in queue at cashier's counter or to be seated in a restaurant waiting for the food; usually looking at TV or reading the paper while eating; examining your mail or do other things while listening to someone on the telephone; often thinking of other matters while listening to your partners or others; and believing that usually you are in a hurry to get things done. Three most common symptoms of impatience are restlessness, hyperactivity and aggression.
Impatience is one of the causes of chronically hyperreactive nervous system of people because of their race against time. According to Vijai P. Sharma, Ph.D., studies have shown that the blood clots faster when people race against time. Many chemicals and stress hormones are excessively produced in people who have a hyperreactive nervous system due to the presence of TAB (Type-A behavior) disorder.
According to an article published in New York Times, “Young adults who are prone to impatience and hostility are more likely to develop high blood pressure. Both character traits are common in people who have Type-A personalities who have long been believed to be at higher risk of developing hypertension. However the researchers, who report their findings in the Journal of the American Medical Association, found that a third common Type A trait, competitiveness, did not appear to increase a person's risk of high blood pressure.”
According to the research, led by Dr. Lijing L. Yan of Northwestern University, those who scored highest on the impatience scale had an 84 percent higher risk of developing high blood pressure than those who scored lowest. According to a similar study, stress-management techniques, among them meditation (e.g. in the form of ritual salat), has been found to reduce both negative emotions and changes in the body associated with cardiovascular disease.
According to a research, impatient people have more drive for immediate gratification. The drive for immediate gratification leads such people to spend their liquid wealth more quickly. These consumers live from hand to mouth in their checking accounts, but hold large stocks of illiquid assets like home equity and defined contribution pension plans. When making long-run choices - for example, when deciding how to invest during flush times - these consumers buy illiquid assets that offer a high rate of return and pay out slowly over many decades. When making short-run decisions, however, these consumers are willing to pay a high price for immediate gratification.
Allah says in the Quran that man is so impatient and fretful that even if he is just barely afflicted, he raises a hue and cry. However the people who are Musalleen (who follow the Divine Law) do not do this.
Impatience is generally a response to some stimulus. “Between stimulus and response, there is space. In that space lie our freedom and power to choose our response. In our response lie our growth and our freedom”. Rather than being reactive we should be proactive. Being proactive is “the ability to act based on principles and values rather than reacting based on emotions or circumstances”. Musalleen (who follow the Divine Law) are never reactive but proactive and always act according to the principles and values given in the Divine Law.
Patience, however, does not mean just to keep on enduring hardship, difficulties or inconveniences without doing anything. That would take us to stoicism. It merely implies not to be negatively reactive under the circumstances that we are not happy about. Being negatively reactive i.e. being irritated, agitated, angry, frustrated, over stressed, or tense, because of impatience, may result in harm to our own selves or others.
Patience is one of those behavioral attributes which, according to the Qur’an, require a firm will and determination. Allah provides us opportunities in life to test our mettle in the face of fear, hunger, loss of life or property, or devastation of fields or orchards, etc. Allah has given glad tidings to those who patiently persevere in such trials and tribulations; those who, when an affliction befalls them, say, "We are for Allah, dedicated to His Cause and every step of ours will advance in the Direction shown by Him." It is they whom Allah supports and blesses with His Grace. And it is they, they who are guided to the most desirable destination.
Patience is described as a virtue in all religions or spiritual practices. Many a great men has also expressed their thoughts about it. Patience in adversity is most goodly [in the sight of Allah]. Allah commands to restrain from impatience in a goodly manner. Allah says in the Quran that one of the essential components of true piety, which results in an exponential growth in human self, is the ability to patiently persevere in physical or emotional distress and in times of peril.
The Believers must enjoin upon one another the keeping to the Truth, and enjoin upon one another patience in adversity and deeds of kindness and compassion. Allah is with those who have patienceand He loves those who are not impatient.
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